I love when a tweet of mine takes the fuck off and gets 2 likes
Every October, I have to write my self assessment. And every October, I sit and stare at the screen and think.... what am I supposed to do here? This is so dumb
Ever read words and just wish they were written about and for you?
My beastly dick is beautiful, Beauty of the Beast if you will… or some shit fuck if I know
I don't need encouragement to do random idiot shit. That's my natural behavior
I miss 2005 when everything was Hollarback Girl & the pink Razor Motorola phone was all the rage
real friends bring you coffee and then help you hide the bodies
I don’t care if you block me or don’t follow me cause I’m an adult you fucking idiots
I love pooping next to strangers in the mornings with only a thin wall separating us.
Welcome to middle age where the dance moves you did in your 20's would hospitalize you today.
Me: guys it’s okay to follow me, it’s Tony! Them: yeah we know